Here are some of the poems I have written:
He read my weight in kilograms, and you began to cry.
As I watched the sad tears well and spill, I pathetically asked myself why?
Why do I continue to harm my health when I see it causes such pain?
What benefit would I achieve, what could I possibly gain?
I write this poem in a healthy weight, one year and four months past,
I knew I could never stay that thin, I knew it wouldn’t last.
The pain and hurt I saw that night in the hospital testing space,
I never again want to see the looks I saw in my parent’s face.
I remember my mother crying in the corner on the chair,
While my father wrapped his arms around me and continuously kissed my hair.
I am sorry for all the suffering and the tears I made you cry,
Still to this day and for the rest of my life, I will always wonder why.
Why did you have to leave?
They say life is a gift, and your presence made that true.
But why did you have to leave so early? So sudden and out of the blue.
I remember years ago, when I was fragile with a thin frame,
the way you looked at me like you fully understood my pain.
Why did you have to leave us all? We aren’t ready for you to go.
Why did you have to leave us all? Even still we love you so.
We’ll never forget your humor, your joy or your laugh,
and eventually, I know this hurt and sadness will slowly pass.
Even though we wish you didn’t leave and we’ll remember you as our friend,
we pray that you’ve found peace and inner happiness at your life’s end.
(Dedicated to Tim Delaney, you will forever be in our hearts)
The Wilted Rose
A wilted rose grows by the grave,
above the man she loved and tried to save.
His inner demons drove him down,
and now he rests beneath the ground.
Clear as day, memories of that haunting night,
when her fallen soldier had lost his fight.
Until the day when they meet once more,
she’ll continue to wait for him to walk through the door.
Forgive me lost love
I had no idea of my mistake
I had no idea I would miss the love we used to make
Forgive my disconnect, forgive my excuse
I left you and forgotten love is the worst form of abuse
To say I didn’t love you, to say I didn’t care
I miss you to pieces and this I solemnly swear
We didn’t go as far as I dreamt we would have gone
I gave up on us too soon and now I realize my wrong
Years down the road I will still miss your sweet smell
Wondering where you are now sends me to my own inner hell
Someday I’ll find a new love, but you’ll never be replaced
I promised I wouldn’t forget you as the tears fell from my face
I still have our memories, and you helped set me free
Everyday I wish you still stood where you were always supposed to be
As I Lie
As I lie, alone and shaken
From all the times I’ve been mistaken
Of all we were, to have come to this
I didn’t know this night would be our last kiss
I loved you true and I loved you deep
And still you left me in my sleep
Not a trace, not a hair
As you left me, warm and bare
I hope you remember my laugh and my smell
I hope the memories hurt you like hell
What did I do to deserve such pain?
These questions and thoughts are driving me insane
So here I lie, broken and beat
I send my pity to the next girl you meet