Hey I heard you were a wild one…
So all that relationship crap I’ve been talking about? Yeah. Let’s just forget about that.
Last night a group of us went out to celebrate my belated birthday – as well as two other birthdays that were very recent – and overall, it was a great night. With my half-hearted attempts to slow myself down, I stuck to beer instead of my usual hard liquor… except one lovely lady had a flask in her purse, french men bought us shots and a wonderful fellow had a quart in his truck. Dammit. Ah well, we’re young and reckless… so therefore it’s okay!
As far as the relationship crap goes, well I pulled a typical “Danielle” move and it’s now dead. It’s unfortunate really, but I brought it upon myself and have no one to blame but myself. Honestly? I should have listened to those voices in the back of my head in the beginning; the ones that were telling me that I’m not at a point in my life where this is a good idea, and that I’m only going to either get hurt, or I was going to end up hurting someone because I’m simply not mature enough for a mature relationship. I shouldn’t have to try to convince a guy that I’m good enough, and I need to just let myself be young and alive. Besides, I’m reckless enough on my own, a relationship with two reckless people is simply a recipe for disaster.
This evening my dad and I went out on his motorbike because I’ve never been on one before. Did I like it? Well, if I told you that I want my own, would that answer the question? I don’t remember a time I’ve felt that free… the exhilaration was addicting and I honestly had to hold myself back from spreading my arms and yelling. Riding horses definitely gives you that euphoric feeling of irreplaceable freedom and adrenalin, however I can never shut my brain off to simply enjoy it – I’m constantly thinking “I need to bend their ribcage a bit more,” or I’m concentrating on closing my hip angle, getting lead changes, etc. etc. On the bike I simply felt free (maybe because my father was driving and I could sit back and enjoy that freedom… but regardless, it was great!) and I can’t wait to feel it again. Feeling the wind on my face like that reminded me, again, that I need to cool my engines and simply enjoy life without all this unnecessary stress.
Yes, I make bad decisions, I act without thinking and I just want to have a good time. Which is exactly why I’m going to just allow myself to have those good times while I still have my youth and while my responsibilities are still on the lower-end of the adult spectrum.
So what we get drunk, so what we don’t sleep; we’re just having fun, we don’t care who sees.
So what we go out, that’s how its supposed to be; living young and wild and free.