Open minds; free souls
So I have this thought that’s been at the back of my mind for awhile and it’s kind of eating away at me. There’s no denying that I’ve said some things over the past few months that I now very much regret, but I’m scared that those regrets from the past (which I should just forget about) are going to ruin a potentially great future. I said things without thinking, acted like a fool and – due to the fact that I was going through a spurt of insecurities and emotional distress – I wasn’t able to just walk away from the situation and tell myself that isn’t what I wanted; that it wasn’t what I deserved.
Now I’m at a state where I’m super happy and I don’t want outside people to mess things up. I’m scared that opinions will cause issues. Was this what I planned on happening? No. Am I glad it did? Very much so. Am I into it? Abso-freakin’-lutely.
I’m not super sure where I’m going with this haha, but I guess my main point is that I’m aware that I stirred some shit and I know I made a bit of a mess – but frig I’m happy right now. And I just want to acknowledge that I feel regret and remorse over things that were said but not considered – but that’s life right? So can we just move on and forget about it? The last thing I want to do is screw up what could be right now, and I don’t want those outside people with their opinions and issues to be giving any negative input or “advice” simply because they were burned in the past. I was burned too, yet I have happily moved on to bigger and better things.
I know people will always hate, and I know I shouldn’t let it bother me, but I guess I’m just one of those people that doesn’t want anyone (especially close and therefore influential friends) to hate on me… And can you blame me? Like I said earlier, I had no intention of any of this happening but I’m so so glad it did. I’m like a giddy, awkward kid and things just keep getting better and better. I’m happy. Really happy. So be happy for me? Thanks.
Maybe someday I’ll be able to wipe the constant goofy grin off my face that seems to appear whenever you’re around. Or maybe not.
P.S. Happy Mother’s Day to all the proud mamas out there! I know I’m a proud daughter to have the most wonderful mother in the world. Much love!